I have been feeling quite different from the last few days. I wanted to jot down all that was troubling me. I wanted to pen down what was going on in my mind. But I could not. Not because I was being lazy. I was really stuck in the constant muddle in my mind. It has been more than 9 months, I have been in my job. I have a great job, I teach! What can be better than this? But I don’t feel contended. I don’t even feel connected.
I don’t feel that eternal happiness I always carried with myself. I feel I am in a constant battle. A battle of keeping everyone happy. But I guess, I need a pause in my life. I did mention “End” in the title. But it was just to remind me, I am not someone who would give up, who would give up so soon!
Humanity is lost! I have even mentioned this in my previous posts. But, I still wish, I get to meet genuine people. At workplace life is a lot different. Oh God, I used to crib regarding people being mean to me when I was studying. And over here, I find people who would not let you rise. People who would be a hurdle in your success. People who would constantly demotivate you. People who would not even mind pulling your leg or pushing you to the ground from the terrace.
So, am I supposed to run away from all of these? Am I? No, i won’t! With so many negativity around me, I always remind myself how blessed I am to still have people who loves me no matter how disgusted or irritated they feel with me. I have my parents who love me from the core of their heart. I have friends. I have my brother. I will stay strong. But after such a long time, I have a silly craving of going back to my childhood days. No worries, no pain, no negativity, only love and happiness.
Give me strength to survive.